Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
