I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
