you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
