You just made me feel so damn special
I just saw a hot homeless man
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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