My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
