There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
