i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
