why didn't you poke me back
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
