summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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