so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
