I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
