Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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