so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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