tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
