In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sorry about my life...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
