yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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