"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
