pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
