stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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