maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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