OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
