So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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