There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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