He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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