i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
