omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
