high people should be assigned attendants
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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