remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
