Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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