It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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