and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
