We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
