pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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