Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
