I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
