He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
