So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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