Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
