I skipped work to stalk him.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
