This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You need a sexual gate keeper
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
