Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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