My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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