DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
