KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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