all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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