I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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