brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
