please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
