I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
