I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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