Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
